Sometimes life overwhelms me. Not on a day-to-day basis necessarily, but I occasionally find myself caught up missing simpler times while simultaneously yearning for future goals and wishes. It makes me feel tangled and immobile in the present, even though I know I’m not. In fact I have quite a bit to keep my mind occupied and content in the present. It’s times like these that I know I need to return to true practices. Gratitude. Service. Living presently. Always remembering my Savior.
The first things that always come to mind are my sweet husband and darling baby girl. Mickayeen has been consistently caring as he has taken on full responsibility for keeping our home up and running. I feel chagrined at times that it seems I am only home long enough to dirty a few more dishes for him but he never complains. He has become more motivated than I have ever seen him as he watches Emma, cleans our home and does classwork. I know I have taken advantage of his willingness. I’m so grateful for it.
Emma is an energetic almost 15-month-old. She loves to stand up but never takes a step. She explores everything within her reach and gets a daily workout going up and down the stairs. Moana is her favorite movie and she watches it 3 times daily. She loves puppies, although they don’t always care for her. I miss being home with her. But I am so thankful for how healthy, strong and smart she is and how happiness colors her days.
Thankfully, I have a fulfilling and evolving career to occupy my mind and much of my sleeping hours too. I dream about the content I have learned nearly every night. Having passed my final training assessment – a four hour verbal exam which would have constituted not being able to work in my department had I not passed – brought a lot of relief and validation. Since then I have found increased flexibility and a myriad of opportunity. Along with working with our marketing executives, I am looking forward to cross-training in our recruiting, special events and coaching and leadership departments. It’s exciting to see so many open doors and I feel humbled to be considered worthy of such.
Moving to Rexburg has been such a divine blessing. I’m sure reading that makes some people highly suspicious but we have found so much goodness from the hand of God by being here. One of the biggest answers to a personal prayer has been Emma’s babysitter Jessica. She quickly has become so much more than that. Jessica and I see each other every morning as we train for our half marathon and it’s become apparent that our friendship couldn’t possibly be only two months old. Our personalities, tastes, humor and convictions line up so well. We have had multiple people ask us if we are sisters, not just because we look alike but because we act that way too. I didn’t really vocalize how much I had been missing a close friend, but God didn’t need me to do so to see that need. He answered it in fine, compassionate fashion. I am so grateful for Jessica and her caring, feisty, comforting and loving presence.
We have had visits from family and good friends. We have felt embraced by our ward. Our challenges come and with the assistance of our Savior, they pass. If I had to change something, I don’t know that I could pick a single thing other than my own inability to completely cherish these things. I hope I can be more mindful of my daily blessings and learn to relish the place I’m at. It’s a good place to be.