The last couple of days I have found myself reviewing the past year and what I find is about a million things to be thankful for.
This time last year, Mickayeen and I were living in Provo, Utah, a newly married couple and five months pregnant with our baby girl. Since then, we have moved four times to four different states, held seven jobs, had our beautiful daughter and have spent nearly eight months with her, finished an additional 21 credits of schooling, met countless new people and reconnected with some dear old friends. We have had family members pass away. We have struggled to find our path.
There have been hard days. I don’t wake up everyday enlightened and inspired by the routine functions of wifehood and motherhood and student-hood and friend-hood. I often worry about the future and everything I need to do to get us there. But today I am filled with a sublime gratitude.
I am thankful that I have good enough in my life to worry about keeping it, where some people worry that they may never find goodness. I am thankful for the twisted path that we had to take because it brought us here. I am thankful for the current struggles we experience because I have hope that they are leading us somewhere even better.
As we approach Thanksgiving, I aim to turn my thoughts away from the Christmas gifts I can’t afford to buy. Instead, I find deep and poignant emotions as I consider all that we already have. It took a lot to get us here – not a single step was made completely with ease or on a zero grade. But we stepped and we stepped again and somehow it landed us in the new, exciting, frightening, important place. It feels good to be here.
For all of this, I acknowledge a Presence greater than myself or any power I could claim to have. Happy accidents don’t just happen. Chaos is not organized independent of an organizer. I’m so grateful for the bliss that He has created of the chaos that would otherwise by my lot in life. As C.S. Lewis previously professed: